Invisible Lines, But Real

When we checked in at the Austrian Air counter in Bangkok, eager to receive the boarding passes that would take us to Stockholm, a delicate question was posed to me. When was I returning to the States? You don’t have a return ticket? What is the purpose of your trip to Sweden?

I flushed. I stuttered. I stood open-mouthed and turned to Bjorn, whose expression had also turned to confusion and worry. Well, I said, I don’t have a ticket, but I’m just going to visit Sweden for a couple of months. No, of course, I’m not planning to overstay my tourist visa’s three month allowance. Just visiting Bjorn here’s family!

The woman frowned at me, then, distracted by another service representative, she turned away. I don’t know if she forgot her line of questioning or if she decided it wasn’t worth it, but when she came back to me, she smiled, handed me my boarding passes, and told me to have a nice trip.

We walked away from the counter, feeling like we’d just dodged some heart-bursting bullet, but also feeling incredibly stupid. Here we’d been, all these months, dreaming of this master plan to go to Sweden. Bjorn would start school in August in Gothenburg, and I’d spend the summer finding a job there, preferably teaching ESL. Sure, it would be tricky, there would be obstacles, but it would work out. Of course it would!

We sat down in a restaurant and ordered two beers with our remaining Thai money, and suddenly, the difficulty of the path ahead hit us. I stared at the sterile, white, tile floor and watched one miserable scenario after another come to life. I’d get stopped at customs in Stockholm, grilled about my intentions, and then promptly put on a plane to the United States. We don’t want you here, they’d say. What, were you trying to sneak in?

We discussed strategy. Is it better to just lie? To say I’m just here visiting? Or should I go with the honesty policy and just hope for the best? Surely they can’t refuse me entry to the country because I don’t have a return ticket, can they? Couldn’t I be doing a tour of Europe?

I decided that, when questioned, I’d be charming. I’d giggle and roll my eyes and tell them that my boyfriend was trying to get me to move to Sweden so I was coming to investigate. Get a job and stay? Well, I’d say, I suppose it’s a possibility, but we certainly haven’t gotten that far yet! We’ve been in New Zealand for eight months, you understand. We haven’t made any plans yet!

When we had to go through passport control in Vienna, Bjorn and I were forced into separate lines. The fast line, for EU citizens, and the slow line for non EU citizens. I know it sounds silly to say that I have just, in the last few days, fully understood that Bjorn and I are from different countries, but as I stood in that line, watching Bjorn pass quickly through the EU line, I felt my status as an outsider. I’m not a member of this EU club, and if this stern-looking man behind the glass decides to not let me through, that’s his call. This man, these invisible lines between countries, could keep me from something as everyday as my relationship. How is it possible that I could be separated from the person I have spent practically every minute of the last 9 months with?

Luckily, I was overly worried, and when I was finally invited to the glass window, the stern-faced man merely looked at my passport and ticket, asked me if I was going to Sweden, and hearing me reply in the affirmative, handed my things back to me and waved me on. And when we finally landed in Stockholm, we walked straight out of the airport without even having to have our passports looked at! We had made it.

My mom once told me that in reality, love doesn’t conquer all. It’s a nice thought and all, but some things can simply put too much stress on love. As I’ve begun to research work visas and residency visas and job opportunities, I have been reminded of this. This is not to say that I think my relationship is any danger but just that I am now aware – sadly aware – of just how hard this is going to be. In order to apply for a work visa here, you have to first have a written job offer, and once you have that job offer, you have to apply for the work visa from your country of origin. Once that application is in process, you are not allowed to enter Sweden, and the turnaround time for a work permit is usually 2-3 months. You must have the work visa attached to your passport BEFORE you enter the country. What I think that means (and perhaps I shouldn’t just to too many conclusions just yet) is that I can search for jobs while I am here and go to interviews, but as soon as I actually have that job offer, I have to return to the States until my permit has been approved.

It seems so lame to me, so limiting, really, that there are such stiff rules. The world is not at all encouraging of international romance. It’s so hard to understand how a country could not want to encourage this relationship that has been so good for me. Aren’t I the center of this universe, anyway? Ha.

Despite all of this, I am optimistic. And for the moment, I just want to enjoy this time. Bjorn and I are fighting off the gloom and doom thoughts with our greatest energy. Things will work out. I know they will. But trying times are ahead.

All apologies for the Negative Nancy entry here. I’ll write about all of the unbelievably good and happy things that have been happening since our arrival in another day or two. Bad news first, you know!

And…here are some more photos from Thailand. http://picasaweb.google.com/ellen.bucy
Hope everyone is well and enjoying the start of summer! Love to you all.